5 Songs
by defineskyline
Summary: Songfic challenge - everything out of Brian's POV besides the last one.


**QUEER AS FOLK DRABBLES**

So, I saw this stuff in a Torchwood fic and thought of trying it.  
The rules are:

1. Pick a fandom/pairing/character  
2. Put your iPod/MP3-Player on shuffle  
3. Stories have to be written to the first 5 songs and in their time frame, meaning you have to write it while the song's playing

I put the YouTube links underneath the song names so you can listen to them while reading :]

Enjoy!

* * *

_1. Mika - By The Time_  
.com/watch?v=zuiC4qrzz60

It was weird. He had never really known how strange it would be once Justin wouldn't be here anymore. He'd never thought of it at all.

But he was gone now, living with the fiddler, and Brian was left with a hole in his gut he couldn't really explain. The loft seemed kinda cold, and dank and just lonely.

He had loved it this way once, but now, it was just... frightening. Like shadows creeping up the wall. The ones you'd see at night, but try to ignore.

Justin's scent was still in his pillow and when he caught himself burying his head into it, he had to laugh dryly about his pathetic ways.

Since when did Brian Kinney miss someone's scent?

_2. Negative - Touchless  
_.com/watch?v=XtRdC2pt97Y

Brian knew he was gorgeous. He didn't need every trick to tell him how hot or handsome he was, he knew it by looking in the mirror. His long, muscular body, the smooth skin, the hazel eyes. It was perfect. He was.

He could go hours once with looking at his reflection, observing and analyzing every little bit of himself.

But now? He hated it. He hated looking at his face. Not because he had grown his first wrinkles, it's bad, but he can't stop it.

It's because, whenever he looks into the mirror, he sees his fake facade, the show he plays and he sees his real face, the one who just longs for love and comfort.

And he hates it. He hates himself for being so fucking two-faced. If he wasn't, maybe Justin could see his real face - maybe Justin wouldn't have left.

So he just avoids the mirror.

_3. Thriving Ivory - Long Hallway with a Broken Light  
_.com/watch?v=bPOtXz2J-Z8

The last thing he saw was the monstrous fluorescent light shining down on him, blurring around him while he sank into a bottomless pit of darkness.

His mind was in a haze. Little pieces of sound got through sometimes; the doctor ordering his nurse and such. But most were pieces of the past, save the last dance for me, for example. The song he and Justin danced to before they ever knew what would come.

And he could see Justin smile, his Sunshine smile and he felt the same warmth he had felt back then. The love rushing through his veins.

And he could see Justin's smile just before the baseball bat collided with his skull. The sound of wood colliding with bones was deafening and Brian screamed, it was a nightmare and he just wanted to get out.

Then, his eyes opened.

_4. Mika - Happy Ending  
_.com/watch?v=FrMlBldlrZU

In the end, he wished he could have made Justin stay. He probably could have, if he had played his cards right. They would have married and moved to the country.

But that wasn't them. They both needed more. In not a long time, they would have smothered and loathed each other, Brian was sure of it.

So he did the thing he had to do; he did what he could to make Justin leave for New York. He played the boring husband, who'd rather cuddle than fuck and he knew that would scare Justin off.

And of course it did. That's not what Justin wants. He wants less perfect husband, but more than Brian fucking Kinney could ever give him.

So Brian sent him to New York, knowing they would probably never see each other again. Justin would move on, start a new life and he'd forget about Brian.

Happy Endings are overrated, anyway.

_5. A.R. Rahman – Dil Se Re  
_.com/watch?v=UDuwbdIMu1c _(this movie is actually really great and totally untypical for Bollywood! And the soundtrack is amazing!)_

He could feel his heart pounding in his head, the sweat running down his skin and the warmth spreading in his insides. He saw the older man above him, the way his brown eyes had darkened of lust and how he licked his crimson lips. Brian was like a storm he couldn't control, a force of nature.

How did he live without this man? It seemed like with every thrust, Brian became a part of him, their bodies meshing into something messy and crazy and so beautiful he wanted to cry.

He loved this man with all his heart and he wouldn't stop until it would kill them both.


End file.
